My Whole Family Has ADHD! This Is How We Manage It.
Our family has been navigating the ups and downs of ADHD for years now. My husband, and both of my children are ADHD, and it’s been quite the journey, to say the least. But, with a lot of hard work, research, and trial and error, we’ve found some strategies that work for us so I thought I’d share them with you.
First off, let me say that every family’s experience with ADHD is unique. What works for us may not work for everyone. We’ve made lots of changes over the years as well, so the strategies we used when my kids were young are different now that they are adults. But, I hope that by sharing our strategies, I can help other families who may be going through similar issues.
Four strategies our family uses to manage ADHD!
1. Homeschooling & Home Businesses: When my kids were younger, my husband and I made the decision to homeschool them. This was largely because of our son’s struggles with ADHD. At the age of three, before he was diagnosed, I enrolled him in a traditional preschool. It only took that one year for me to realize that the traditional classroom setting was too overwhelming for him, and he wasn’t getting the support he needed. So we decided to homeschool because it allowed me to tailor my teaching approach to his individual needs, gifts and strengths. It also gave me more control over his environment, which really helped to minimize distractions. Once he was officially diagnosed at age eight, it turns out that he was not only ADHD, but gifted as well, so I was able to let him pursue his passions more freely. If he wanted to hyperfocus on math and numbers one day and then weather and tornadoes the next day, then he had all the freedom to do so! My daughter was homeschooled as well, even though she wasn’t diagnosed until she was an adult. She did struggle with focus and anxiety as a child, so it turned out to be the best option for her as well. She felt safe at home and was also able to pursue her passion for music and art.
I really loved our homeschooling years as it gave me a chance to really communicate with my kids and get to know my kids on a deeper level. My kids loved being homeschooled as well and are thankful for the personalized education they received, and the strong family bonds and connection it created. Yeah, it was a lot of work, and required sacrifice from both my husband and myself, but we wouldn’t go back and change a thing. Now that my kids are adults they’ve both chosen to start and run their own businesses. Maybe they just learned to be more independent because they were homeschooled, or maybe it’s because Harold and I also both run our own businesses and we set the example. Either way, working for themselves gives them the freedom to use their creativity, excel in their passions, and create their own schedules. It’s a great option for ADHD adults!
2. Schedules: Homeschooling also taught us all the importance of developing routines and structure. Now, that might sound scary and restrictive, but it really isn’t! We found that there’s actually freedom and security in having structure. Now, I’m not talking about having every single daily activity scheduled down the the minute on color coded planners. I’m talking about having a consistent, regular schedule for things like meals, school, work, exercise, appointments and events. I’ve found that having a schedule helped everyone to feel secure and less anxious because they know what’s happening and what’s expected ahead of time. It also helped minimize distractions, and keep everyone on track. That’s not to say we weren’t flexible and sometimes changed things up, but for the most part we stuck to a predictable routine. Even to this day, now that my kids are adults, we all find that we do better when we have predictable routines. All four of us have our own businesses, so to keep us on track in our businesses, home and social lives we still heavily rely on tools like to-do lists and calendars to help us stay organized and manage our time effectively.
3. Diet & Exercise: Another very important strategy for us has been managing diet and exercise. Over the years we’ve found that certain foods and drinks, like sugary snacks, processed foods, and soda, tended to exacerbate symptoms. For example, anything with high fructose corn syrup in it sends my son over the edge, and anything with wheat in it makes my husband’s brain fog and anxiety worse, so we made a conscious effort to cut back on those types of items. Making sure everyone has protein at every meal and snack has been super important, especially at breakfast, to keep blood sugar and mood stable throughout the day. In the past few years I’ve learned more about the connection between gut health and brain health, so we’ve really worked on improving our diet to focus on less processed foods and more fiber.
We’ve also always encouraged our kids to get plenty of exercise each day. Our home has a soccer field right behind it, so when my son was younger I often sent him son outside to run some laps when he got too wiggly. During their school years my kids participated in organized sports, homeschool group sports activities, dance, swimming and we did a lot of down hill skiing together as a family. My goal was to instill a love of exercise in them that they could take into adulthood. And it paid off! These days we are all enjoying weight training, walking and cycling. It’s a really important strategy to help reduce anxiety and burn off extra energy!
4. Supplements: What about medication? While it’s not the right choice for everyone, medication can help to improve focus and concentration and reduce impulsivity. If you are considering medication please work with a healthcare professional to find the right medication and dosage, and to monitor your results. At one point my son did a trial with some medication, but he developed a racing heart during the trial and didn’t feel well, so we didn’t pursue the option further. He recently tried again as an adult, but the side effects bothered him too much to make any benefits worth it.
So instead of medication we started incorporating supplements into our routine. We did a lot of research and experimentation to find the right combination of supplements that worked for our family. Initially this included things like omega-3 fatty acids. More recently I’ve been learning about the gut microbiome and it’s role in mental health and specifically in ADHD. It’s a fascinating and promising new area of science with many studies that show a very strong link! So with this in mind we’ve recently added in a supplement routine that is made up of specific biotics, nootropics, and adaptogens to help improve focus, memory, energy, motivation, and anxiety. It’s called The Happy Mind Pack and you can learn more about it here. My husband has been on this protocol for several months and has been raving about how great he’s been feeling. He’s noticed a better overall mood, better sleep, and much better mental focus, especially when he’s at work. My daughter has also had a very noticeable improvement when she started using these supplements. I wrote a blog post about her experience, and how they woke up her brain, and you can read it here. My son has only just started this routine so I’ll come back another time to tell you his experience.
Of course, managing ADHD is an ongoing process. We’ve had our fair share of ups and downs over the years. But, by focusing on creating a supportive environment and using strategies like homeschooling, diet, exercise, and supplements, we’ve been able to successfully manage our family’s ADHD.
If you or someone you love has ADHD, my advice to you is to experiment with some of these strategies to figure out what works best for you, develop your own game plan, and be consistent. I’d also encourage you to keep learning new things and trying new things as the science around ADHD and the gut microbiome develops. There will be good days and bad days, but with the right strategies and resources, you can thrive!
